


Our walls are falling

by Allmylovelarrie



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Larry - Fandom, Larry Stylinson - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction
Genre: Coffee, Crying, Lostlove, Love, M/M, Regret, Sad, Songwriting, beachwoodcafe, meanharry, pianoplaying, sadharry, tinylouis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:33:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22182610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allmylovelarrie/pseuds/Allmylovelarrie
Summary: Harry and Louis run into each other at the Beachwood café after not seeing each other since they announced the hiatus.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 46





	1. Beachwood Cafe

Harry sat in the corner table on the outside patio, he sipped on his cappuccino, and he skimmed through his twitter feed. He couldn’t help but chuckle at some of his tweets that he was tagged in. He especially loved going through tweets where his name wasn’t tagged, only mentioned. He loved those. He found those exceptionally funny because he could see what his fans really tweeted about. He felt excited when he read a tweet asking about HS2 and he just couldn’t wait any longer. His album was almost ready. He could almost combust from how excited he was, but it still needed some kinks. He also needed to write about three more songs. He still felt as if his album was missing a certain song, but it just hadn’t come to him yet. 

He was in his own bubble when he noticed someone dart into the café quickly. He looked up from his sunglasses as he noticed a man wearing joggers and a pull over hoodie. Who would possibly be wearing a pullover hoodie in the middle of summer in Hollywood? He scanned the man’s figure and squinted as he tried to see if he recognized him from somewhere. The man was obviously nervous for some reason as he kept shifting from one foot to another. Harry leaned forward on his chair, as he placed his head on his palm and titled his head as he kept watching him. 

The man ran his hand through his hair and Harry almost fell off his chair. Harry quickly diverted his eyes and pushed on his thighs. _What the hell is Louis doing here?_ This is my spot and he’s never in Hollywood if he doesn’t have to be. Harry gulped down his nerves as he looked back up and saw Louis looking at him. 

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breathe as their eyes meet. 

There is no way Louis would come over here, no way. They haven’t even spoken in four years since the hiatus and Louis breaking his heart. There is no way. 

Yet here he was. Harry looked up as he felt a familiar presence above him. Louis gave him a tight smile as he set his smoothie down on the table. Is he going to sit here? Why me god? Louis kept staring at him and then raised his eyebrows as if he was expecting something.

Harry quickly realized he was probably staring at him stupidly and he stood up. His height immediately towering over Louis. “Hi, Lou.” The nickname slipped out of his tongue like butter as Louis smiled. “Hi, Haz.” Louis pulled him into a tight hug as Harry wrapped his hands under Louis own. Harry couldn’t believe how he still felt so comfortable in his arms and how easy it was that they still fit into each other. 

Louis was the first to pull away and he smiled again as he sat down. Harry let out a low breath he didn’t know he was holding and sat back down. He got his coffee mug and brought it to his lips. He held the mug with two hands when he realized how badly he was shaking. 

“So,” Harry gulped down his coffee as Louis looked up at him from underneath his long lashes as he sipped his own smoothie. Harry ran his hand through his hair and continued, “What brings you here?” 

Louis smiled and leaned back on his chair, he brough up his left ankle to his right knee and played with the laces of his shoes. “I just finished recording a new song. I came to finish up the touch ups and re-record some new songs for my upcoming album.” 

Harry couldn’t help the pride that stirred up in his stomach. He felt immensely proud that Louis was finally releasing his first album and here was Harry almost done with his second, but no matter what this was huge for Louis. 

“I am so proud of you, Lou.” Harry bit his lip to hold in his smile that was itching to break through. 

The tension and silence that was hanging above their head could cut glass. Louis let out a shaky laugh as he leaned onto the table with his elbows. “I didn’t think it would be this awkward between us,” Louis said eyeing him. 

“I-I… Louis,” he whispered quietly. He felt the familiar tightness in his chest whenever he thought about them when they were together. He really thought he was over Louis, but deep down he truly knew he would never get over him. “We haven’t spoken in over four years,” Harry sighed as he said that. He couldn’t believe they hadn’t talked in so long. Harry and Louis. Who was Harry without Louis? They had never gone so long without each other. Harry couldn’t forget the nights he spent feeling as if he was going to die after they had broken up. Louis claimed it was inevitable and it was something that had to happen for them to grow as individuals. All they ever knew was each other. 

It’s exactly what Harry did. He had flings with different Victoria secret models and different actors, male and female. Nothing ever stuck and he never truly felt anything for any single one of them. Camille was probably the only one he had truly let in since Louis. But they had already broken up. Both were too hung up on their ex’s to truly let one another in, no matter how hard they tried. Another failed love. Harry couldn’t deny that it hurt when they had broken up, but he knew it was inevitable. Exactly what Louis had told him four years ago. 

Harry didn’t realize he was in his own thoughts again until Louis pulled his hand away from his lips. Harry's eyes darted up to his quickly. “Sorry, what?” Did Louis say something? Why does he always do this? He always gets absorbed into his own thoughts when he lets himself. 

“I said I know we haven’t spoken in so long and I’m sorry for that.” Louis looked at him genuinely. Louis looked good. He looked happy. Harry pushed away the thought that yelled _“not with me”._

Ignoring his apologizes instead he asks, “Why did you get a smoothie? You never come to a café for that. It’s either iced coffee or nothing.” Harry’s cheeks slightly flushed as he realized he said something he used to know about Louis. Maybe he isn’t like that anymore.

Louis hid the smile that played on his lips. “They ran out of coffee, go figures. A café that runs out of coffee. Can you believe that?” Louis let out a chuckle as he sipped his smoothie. 

Harry shook his head because that was unbelievable. “Who runs out of coffee in the middle of the day? Awful Americans.” Harry making sure his British accent came out full force.  
Louis snorted as he tilted his head back letting out a loud laugh. 

Harry couldn’t help but admire him. He couldn’t help noticing the way his eyes crinkled in the corners and how he still smiled crazily when he laughed. What Harry had said wasn’t even that funny, yet Louis laughed as if he was a comedian. 

He felt the familiar hand on his again. Did he space out again? 

“You alright, Haz?” The familiar nickname again falling out of Louis lips gently. “Yeah,” Harry said smiling, but it never reaches his eyes anymore. “I still care about you, you know that right? I’ve missed you, too.” Louis looked deeply into his eyes and held it. Harry eyed him. _Too?_

Was Harry so obvious? How would Louis possibly know that he missed him? 

Harry looked away and pulled his hand away. He felt the anger forcing itself into his chest again. He always felt angry and sad whenever he thought about his relationship with Louis. Louis is the one that broke this off and stopped speaking to him as soon as the hiatus started. Harry couldn’t help but release a low scoff. 

Louis eyes narrowed. “What was that for?” He asked now sitting up straight and eyeing Harry hard. 

“You miss me? Really, Louis? We haven’t talked in over four years, as I said earlier. _You_ broke up with me. _You_ ended things. _You_ wanted to see different people and _you_ left me. Not the other way around. Then I see you here in Hollywood at our- _my_ \- favorite café and you still have the audacity to come and talk to me? Why? So, you can see how great I’m doing or for me to see how great you are doing without me? Which is it, Louis?” Harry couldn’t help how deeper and angrier his voice sounded as he lashed out on Louis. 

Louis leaned back in his chair and looked shocked. He looked shocked that Harry had said this to him and maybe a little hurt. He pulled the sleeves of his hoodie down to cover his palms as he bit his lip. 

“I can’t believe you, Harry. It’s been four years. I thought I could come back here and talk to an old bandma-“ Harry immediately put his hands up to make him stop talking. 

“Stop!” Harry yelled as he pulled off his sunglasses off to get a good look at Louis. Thankfully, no one else was outside in the patio with them or this would have already been on twitter. 

“I wasn’t just your _bandmate_ , Louis. I was your boyfriend, your lover, your very best friend for over five years.” Louis flinches at his tone. But Harry can’t stop. 

“Yes, your boyfriend Louis. Whom you left as soon as the band was over as you felt _we_ were over. I can’t believe you.” Harry scoffs again as his eyes burn with the tears he is desperately trying to hold back. 

Louis looked away and let out a deep sigh. “I didn’t know you felt this way,” he whispered. 

“How did you think I felt, Louis? You left me. I didn’t know anything else, but you! But, don’t worry about me anymore. I’m perfectly fine without you. Please don’t look at me with your pitiful eyes and just leave me alone. Just like you did four years ago.” Harry crossed his arms around his chest as he said the words that he slightly regretted as soon as they left his tongue. 

He couldn’t help it. He had all this pent-up anger against Louis for this past four years and he couldn’t help but lash out the first chance he got. 

“Who are you?” Louis whispered as he furiously wiped the tears falling down his cheeks with the sleeves of his hoodie. Harry's composure immediately fell as he reached out to Louis. He didn’t want him to cry. Fuck, Harry thought. 

“Don’t!” Louis quickly got up and got his drink. He was about to walk away when he looked back at Harry one last time. “I genuinely thought we could be friends after all these years, but I was wrong. I don’t know you anymore, Harry Styles. The old Harry would have never said the things you told me today. Don’t worry, I won’t come up to you again if I see you out on the streets. I don’t even want to be around you anymore. I don't know you anymore.” Louis looked him up and down and quickly walked away. 

Harry couldn’t even pretend to not feel dumbfounded. He knew he was being such a prick. He knew he was being an arrogant son of a bitch. He knew what he was saying. He knew it was going to hurt Louis and he did it anyways. It wasn’t as if Harry had tried to patch things up. Louis broke up with him and Harry packed up his life and moved to LA. He wasn’t too different from Louis. Louis wanted out, he got it. That made Harry get as far away as possible. 

Harry sighed as he rubbed his dry eyes and got up. He threw away his trash and made his way to his SUV. He drove silently back to his LA home and immediately went to his shower. 

He stripped down and went into the burning hot water. He finally let his tears fall as he choked back a sob. He bit down onto his hand to try to keep himself quiet, but then let everything go because he is all alone. 

He doesn’t live with anybody. He doesn’t have friends around him all the time. He doesn’t have a significant other. It’s just him, all alone in this multi-million-dollar home that he probably doesn’t even need since he doesn’t spend much time here with going back home and his tours. He scrubbed his body raw as he still felt the tears falling. Why did he say all that stuff to Louis? He knew it would hurt him and he still said it. He wanted to punch himself in the face when Louis hurt face flashes into his thoughts. 

Louis probably never wants to see him again or be around him again. Was Harry really that different? Had he changed so much that Louis didn’t recognize him? He felt as if he was someone he could be proud of. He was finally feeling like himself and be able to be more open to his fans. This new album was something that he was extremely proud of because he was showing his fans a deeper side of him. A side they didn’t know yet. 

Harry shut off the water after he rinsed himself off. He wrapped a white towel around his head and used another towel to dry himself off before he wrapped it around his waist. He made his way downstairs and eyed his piano. Maybe this will help let everything out. 

Harry sat down at the piano bench and got his papers together. He looked at his lucky pencil that he had laying there as well. Harry got his phone and turned on the voice memo app, just incase he came up with something good. He placed his hands on the keys. 

He closed his eyes as he slowly started messing around with the keys. Listening to how the sounded as he tries to come up with a melody. 

_“I’m in my bed and you’re not here…”_ Harry sings with his eyes closed. 

His hands playing the piano keys as if he already had written the song. 

_“And there’s no one to blame but the drunk and my wandering hands,”_ Harry's eyes flashed through all the different people had been with since Louis. He had no idea who Louis had been with aside from that Danielle girl. Louis kept everything low-key afraid it would get out. Harry’s team always wanted him to be pictured and captured with any girl. Even if he wasn’t interested in them. It was good publicity, they would always say. 

He thought back at everything he practically yelled at Louis today. 

_“Forget what I said.”_

_“It’s not what I meant.”_ Fuck, he didn’t mean anything he said. He was just angry at Louis. Angry at himself. Angry at them for giving up so easily on themselves and not trying hard enough. 

_“And I can’t take it back, I can’t unpack the baggage you left.”_ Harry wished for a moment that he could. He wished he could just ignore everything in his body that craved Louis. He couldn’t deny the part of him that felt happy when he saw Louis. He couldn’t help the way he felt when they embraced and how it felt so easy to melt into him as if they hadn’t been broken up for four years now. 

He couldn’t help but feel ashamed of himself. 

_“What am I now?”_

_“What am I now?”_

_“What if I’m someone I don’t want around?”_ Harry didn’t even want to think that maybe he didn’t know himself as well as thought he did. He would have never said those things to Louis before. Now that just because he was upset over their breakup made it right for him to say these things to Louis? Harry shakes his head furiously as he felt his eyes started pricking with tears. Does Harry even know who he is anymore? 

_“I’m falling again.”_

_“I’m falling again.”_ Louis blue eyes flashed into his head. 

_“I’m falling,”_ Harry sing the word and lets it drag a bit. 

Harry hadn’t felt this upset with himself in years. 

_“What if I’m down?”_

_“What if I’m out?”_ If Harry and Louis came out before, would they still have been together now? Is that why Louis broke up with him? He couldn’t bear the thought of them having to hide individually now? Harry knew it was going to be harder to hide their relationship when One Direction went on a hiatus, but he never doubted their love.  
Then why did Harry pack his bags and not give it a second thought? 

_“What if I’m someone you won’t talk about?”_ Harry knows in his heart that Louis always avoids talking about him. He watches every interview and listens to every song. Louis would answer the questions about Harry casually and then change the subject. Every single time. But it’s not like anybody even know they were together for so long. They were kept a secret for years.

A hidden deep secret that they’d deny forever. 

_“You said you cared.”_

_“And you missed me too.”_ Harry didn’t even say he missed Louis, but he knew. Of course, Louis had to know. Louis knew him better than anybody. 

_“And I’m well aware I write too many songs about you.”_ His past album songs flying through his mind, one sticking out particularly, sweet creature. 

He remembers their conversation at the café and his heart strings tug. 

_“And the coffee’s out.”_

_“At the Beachwood café,”_ he left his voice go higher on the last word.

 _“And it kills me ‘cause we’ve run out of things we can say,”_ he sings as he remembers the silence that could cut glass. 

_“What am I now?”_

_“What if I’m someone I don’t want around?”_ Does Harry even like himself anymore? 

He can add the I’m falling again part here he thinks as he continues playing the piano keys. He sighs shakily as he sings again. 

_“What if I’m someone you won’t talk about?”_

Harry felt himself crying. He couldn’t help it. He was almost sobbing. 

_“And I get the feeling that you’ll never need me again,”_ Harry said that line with all the emotion he could give out. 

_“What if you’re someone I just want around?”_ He would never stop wanting Louis around. He knew that in the deepest part of himself. 

Harry stopped abruptly and covered his face with his hands as he sobbed into them. He leaned onto the piano top and cried into it. He was shaking so hard he couldn’t breathe.

He gasped for air as he pushed himself off the piano. He walked outside to his balcony that overlooked LA. He gasped for air as he held onto the balcony rails. He wiped away his tears harshly as he felt his throat dry for his choking sobs. He fell to the floor and held onto one of his balcony bars. 

He curled up into a ball and rested his head on his forearms as he let himself cry until he couldn’t anymore. He was able to get his breathing back to regular and he soon stopped crying. He rubbed his eyes slowly as they burned against his skin. He sniffled a couple times. 

He didn’t even know how much time had passed between him abruptly stopping his playing to when he was gasping for air outside. 

He slowly got up and made his way to the piano. He felt his head start pounding as it usually did when he cried too hard. 

He got his phone and saw that it had been recording for a little over an hour. He shakily stopped it and started it from the beginning. 

He heard himself come up with he melody in the beginning and then his careful and slow lyrics coming out. They stopped at under twenty minutes when he heard himself choke out a sob. He had spent over thirty minutes trying to calm himself down outside. 

Harry sighed as he let himself pull in another shaky breathe. He gulped down the new tears that were flooding his eyes. 

He saved the voice memo and named it _“Falling.”_


	2. You are my because

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry goes and sees Louis at his first concert to start off his World Tour. It's his first time seeing him after he saw him at the Beachwood Cafe over a year ago.

Harry couldn’t breathe.

He couldn’t believe that he had even agreed to come here.

Why did he agree?

He tugged on his blouse, which was a nice black shimmery color. He adjusted the long strands that landed on his chest and rubbed his palms on his white pants. He didn’t know why he had dressed up so good for this, but he felt as if he needed too. He wasn’t even sure if he was wanted where he was.

He pushed his hair back with his right hand and let out a shaky breathe.

He felt someone grip his hand and squeeze tightly. He turned and smiled slightly.

Niall held onto his hand as his blue eyes shined. “It’s going to be alright, mate. Isn’t that what one of your songs say? We’ll be alright?” Niall smirked at him as he heard Zayn snicker at that comment.

Harry shoved Niall away playfully. “I’m just nervous, I haven’t seen him since over a year ago at the café. I might just leave after the show. I don't want to intrude. This is a big deal for him.”

The boys nodded in understanding as they sipped on their beer bottles. Harry sipped on his mixed drink as he laid his head against the black leather couch.

“You still dressed up cute, didn’t you?” Zayn teased him, he smiled so gently but you could still see his tongue poking out from underneath his teeth.

Harry tilted his head as he covered himself with his hands. He felt himself start to blush as he shakes his head. “I just like to dress up now. It’s more me.”

“We know, mate. We’re just joking with you.” They all laughed and stood up when they started hearing people make their way into the building.

They didn’t have to worry about being spotted because they were in the balcony area, which was covered by windows. Nobody would have suspected them being here.

Harry, for sure, wasn’t suspected to be here. He was invited by Liam and he wasn’t entirely too sure if Louis knew he was coming.

This was Louis first concert of his 2020 tour. Harry knew Louis had already performed in different places before, but this was huge. It was his first solo tour since One Direction, and he was going to be nervous. That’s why he wanted the boys here. Did he want Harry here, as well?

Harry hoped he did.

Even Zayn was here. They had patched things up after Louis had released his single “Walls” in January. The scene of where all the boy came out made Zayn incredibly emotional. He apparently called Louis and cried to him. They both cried and apologized to each other a million times over.

Harry had his own tour starting in only a couple weeks, yet here he was in Barcelona, Spain. He needed to be here to support Louis. Harry had held off on listening to any of Lou’s new music, especially Walls because he wanted to experience everything in person. He wanted to hear the emotion behind the lyrics.

Harry walked towards the glass window and peered down. He could see all the different people piling into the area. He was happy that Louis had chosen to go more intimate for his first tour. He had chosen to do auditoriums, dance halls and theaters, all intimate like this one. He said he didn’t want to do stadiums for his first tour, he wanted to be able to connect with his fans in a small area. Harry agreed with him because he had chosen to do the same for his first tour, as well. 

Harry felt his heart tug as he remembered watching that interview in his living room. He tried his best to keep up with Louis as much as he could. He wondered if Louis did the same. Louis probably hated him after they spoke at the café over a year ago. They hadn’t talked since and Harry could only blame himself.

He remembered the song he wrote after their altercation. His album had already been out for almost half a year and it was still doing amazing. He felt so much pride in his album and in himself. He didn’t know if he was still going to do as good as he did for his self-titled album, but he had managed to do even better. He managed to grow his fandom even more. All his shows were mostly sold out and it made him incredibly happy that he was able to do all of this.

He wondered if Louis had heard his album. Did he know most of the songs were about him? Did he know that he had written ‘Falling’ right after he had seen him at the café?

Both of his albums were both for him, all the songs were written for the words Harry couldn’t say. He was a coward and it shamed him because all his fans thought so highly of him. How would they feel if they knew that Harry wasn’t even able to talk to the love of his life after all this time?

Harry admired all of Louis fans. Every single one of them looked extremely excited and they were all bopping their heads to the overhead music, which was Louis own personal playlist. They could hear it in the private area that they were in, as well.

Harry turned his back to the glass and looked around the room. Zayn and Liam were in their own personal discussion. Niall was on his phone as he sipped on his beer. They had their own personal bartender in here, too. It was just the four of them. Louis didn’t want his family to fly out for his first concert, he wanted them to go to another one in the UK instead. Liam said he felt bad for his siblings having to deal with all the chaos of the first show.

The lights suddenly shut off and the crowd went wild. Harry couldn’t help but smile as he heard them chanting Louis name. They boys soon all walked towards the glass and started smiling as well.

Lights started flashing on the stage and the background started freaking out as if it was a television losing its cable. The rainbow xx smiley face soon appeared on the screen. Harry’s heart tugged at the way Louis had chosen to make the smiley face rainbow colored.

Could he be any louder?

Louis band came out and started setting up, then they started playing KMM. Louis soon ran on stage and Harry leaned as much as he could into the glass. He wished he was closer as he rested his palms on the glass. He was smiling like crazy and he could almost cry from happiness at what he was witnessing.

Louis had on a black and white sweater with black jeans and matching vans.

Harry could feel himself shaking as he stared at Louis. Every single song he sang made Harry’s heart flutter.

Then he heard the start of the orchestra playing.

Harry looked around at the other guys as they were staring at Harry as well. Harry started making his way out of the room before the boys could stop him. He stood in front of the rails next to the staircase as the only thing illuminating him was the bright light in the hallway behind him.

He wondered if Louis could see him up here. Would he know it’s Harry?

_Nothing wakes you up like waking up alone_

Harry froze in his spot as his gripped the railing of the bars in front of him.   
_  
And all that's left of us is a cupboard full of clothes  
  
_ This sounded too much like his own song “Falling.” When did Louis write this? _  
  
The day you walked away and took the higher ground  
Was the day that I became the man that I am now  
  
_

Harry leaned into the bars as he felt Louis slowly look up at where he was. Did he know? _  
  
But these high walls, they came up short  
Now I stand taller than them all  
These high walls never broke my soul, and I  
I watched them all come falling down  
I watched them all come falling down for you  
For you  
  
_

Harry could feel his eyes watering as he felt his emotions on overdrive. _  
  
Nothing makes you hurt like hurting who you love (Hurting who you love)  
  
_

Louis was still staring up at him and the entire crowd was silent, hearing Louis sing.

_  
And no amount of words will ever be enough (Never be enough)  
  
_

Louis voice shakes and he then looks down and starts singing towards the crowd. But he sensed the crowd knew something was up because he could see different people glancing around the building. They couldn’t see him when he was inside the one-way room, but now he was out in the open. _  
  
I looked you in the eyes, saw that I was lost (Saw that I was lost)  
For every question 'why', you were my 'because' (You were my 'because')  
  
_

Louis was looking up at Harry again as he said that verse. He held eye contact with Harry as Harry was biting his knuckles; trying to hold in his tears. His eyes only on Harry while the entire crowd was singing and pointing at Louis for that one line. _  
  
But these high walls came up short  
Now I stand taller than them all  
These high walls never broke my soul, and I  
I watched them all come falling down  
I watched them all come falling down for you  
Falling down for you  
  
_

Harry gripped onto the bar as he rushed onto the tip of his toes and rocked forward. He kept staring at Louis as he sang.

_  
So this one is a thank you for what you did to me  
Why is it that 'thank you's' are so often bittersweet  
I just hope I see you one day and you'll say to me, oh, oh  
  
_

Say what? Harry couldn’t help but think. He needed to talk to Louis after this. Should he? No. He shouldn't. He held his breath as Louis continued.

_  
But these high walls came up short  
Now I stand taller than them all  
These high walls never broke my soul, and I  
I watched them all come falling down  
I watched them all come falling down for you  
Falling down for you_

Louis sang the last verse as he looked down at the ground. Harry saw him taking in a breathe before he gripped his microphone again.  
  
Nothing wakes you up like waking up alone

Louis sang his last line as he looked up at where Harry was one last time. He stared at where Harry was for a couple seconds before he continued onto the next song.

Harry waited a few seconds as he tried to calm down his heartbeat as he stared at his feet. He pulled in a deep breath as he made his way back into the private room. The boys were all waiting for him to come back in as they each gave him a small smile.

Niall pulled Harry into his arms before Harry could react, he felt the other boys wrap their arms around him as well.

Harry placed his hands on Nialls biceps as he closed his eyes. Louis still singing in the background.

Once the show was finished, Harry got up and looked at the boys.

The boys immediately knew and frowned.

“I… I just don’t want to interfere. It’s his big night and I don’t even know if he wants me here,” Harry tried explaining as he slid his phone into his trouser pocket.

Liam nodded as he pursed his lips.

Zayn sighed as he gave a small smile.

Niall shook his head and rolled his eyes, but still slightly smiled.

“Let him know I was here, yeah?” Harry whispered as he gave each of the boys a hug goodbye.

“We will, don’t worry. I’m sure he knows. He knows you wouldn’t miss this.” Liam says as he is the last one Harry hugs.

Harry nods and makes his way towards the elevator. He waves goodbye to the boys as the elevator closes.

Harry sighs as he rubs his eyes and he feels his throat closing up. He swallows the lump in his throat as the elevator stops in the basement level.

He steps out and makes his way towards the back exit. He didn’t have any security with him tonight since nobody knew he was here either way. He makes his way into his rental car and drives off to his hotel that he rented for the night.

His flight out of Barcelona wasn’t until tomorrow morning. He didn’t want to fly the red eye.

Mostly because he didn’t want to leave the same night.

Just in case.

He didn’t know what he was hoping for, but he was hoping for something. Was it stupid of him for having hope? After all this time?

He drove farther and farther away from where the concert was being held. He felt his heart getting heavier.

Should he have left?

Why did he leave?

Should he have waited and seen Louis? Should he have stayed and celebrated with him? He just didn’t want to put him in an awkward position. He didn’t want a recap of their last encounter.

Harry pulled into the hotel he was staying at and stopped at the valet service. He made his way out and gave the valet his keys with a quick thank you.

He smiled at the receptionist as he made his way through the, thankfully, empty lounge area.

He waited for the elevator and then made his way into it as he pressed the highest level button.

He pulled out his phone from his pocket as he clicked his side button to see if he had messages.

None.

He scrolled through his twitter and saw all the boys congratulating Louis on his first successful concert.

Harry couldn’t help but smile. He wished he could tweet about Louis, too. He wanted to tell the entire world how proud he was of him, but they hadn’t publicly interacted in almost five years. He didn’t know how nobody had spotted them over a year ago at the café, but he was grateful that encounter hadn’t been documented by anybody.

Harry couldn’t help but think about that encounter every single day since it had happened.

He had his own song to remind him of that awful day.

He wondered if Louis had written his album titled song about that day, as well. He didn’t want to dwell on it. The elevator soon stopped at his floor as he stepped out and made his way to the only room there. He swiped his key card and entered the empty room.

He switched on the light once he entered the bedroom. He set his phone on the bedside table and made his way towards his luggage. He slowly pulled off his blouse and trousers. He hanged the trousers and slipped the blouse on the same hanger.

He pulled out some joggers and slipped on an over sized hoody of his own merch. He made his way towards the bed as he sat down on the edge of the mattress.

He got his phone and stared at the screen. He didn’t know what he was waiting for, but he felt it in his gut. He was waiting for something to happen.

His phone lit up as he felt his heart stop. He felt the back of neck break out in sweat and his breathing hitched.

He fumbled with the answer button. He paused for a second as he pulled his phone towards his ear.

He gripped onto the bed with his free hand and closed his eyes. He felt his heart beating out of his chest.

All he could hear was loud music in the background drifting farther and farther away from the person that called him. He could hear cheering and laughter all around.

It was finally quiet on the other end of the phone and he knew the person was somewhere far away from the crowded and loud room.

“Hello?” He finally said, his voice sounded dry and raspy. He gripped the bed even harder and then he pinched the bridge of his nose.

He heard sniffling on the other end and his chest felt tight.

“Why did you leave?”

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully you enjoyed my first fic on here. :) Lmk what you think. Thank you!


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